Do They Do This On Purpose?

I have had a few friends, former co-workers, and former roommates who have gone on to work jobs for the FBI or do defense contracting for private companies.  As part of the interview process an investigator calls basically everyone they have ever associated with and asks a million personal questions that I usually don’t know the answer to (have they ever done drugs?  have they ever had an altercation with a co-worker? are they a patriot who is loyal to the US?  are they easy to bribe?  are they married? etc, etc).  The person on the other end always has a great personality too.

I received one of these wonderfully fun calls yesterday.  I was busy playing hockey in the warehouse when he called, so I let it go to voicemail.  Here’s how the message started:

Hi Adam.  My name is Rich and I’m an investigator retained by US government office of personnel management, working on an investigation on…

STOP RIGHT THERE.

What’s going through my mind at this point?  What would be going through your mind?  It generally goes something like:  “holy shit, what did I do?  Who is in trouble?” while my heart races about a million beats per second.  Why can’t you start the conversation by telling me what you are calling about and who you are calling about BEFORE you tell me that you are an investigator and scare the living crap out of me.  Something like:

Hi Adam.  My name is Rich and I’m calling about {NAME}.  He/She applied for a job doing defense contracting.  I am an investigator retained by US office of  personnel management, working on a background investigation on him…

See, much better.

Do you think they scare the shit out of people intentionally?

If they do, it certainly works on me.

2 comments on Do They Do This On Purpose?

  1. Mate, I reckon they do scare the shit out of you intentionally 🙂

  2. Adam McFarland says:

    Haha thanks for the affirmation Scott

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